How To Make Caramel Apples

For this particular recipe you will need:
3 Eager Beavers (preferably ones who like caramel and chocolate)
5 Granny Smith apples
3 Red apples
1 bag of caramels
8 Popsicle sticks
Apple Jacks
A smidge of milk
Marshmallows
Heath bar
Butterfinger bar
1 bag of squirrels

A handful of chocolate chips

Let the kids get the squirrels out of their cage. Since there are four squirrels, let the oldest kid put two in her hoody. Help her turn the hoody around so she can poke the squirrels easier. Let the other one wear the sleeping bag with the rest of the squirrels around her neck like a necklace.

After convincing the kids that yes, the plastic NEEDS to come off the caramels before they get melted, have them un-peel the caramels and put them in a small pot. The whole bag. And possibly the left-overs from the last bag since neither Jeff nor the kids have any self control. Add the smidge of milk. Let it chill on the stove while you get the rest of the stuff ready.Smash up the Butterfinger and heath bars. Tell the kids to keep out of them, but explain to them its your job to eat the big pieces because, well, it just is.Have one of the kids get the mini marshmallows into another bowl. (Best of luck!) Then put the chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl. Watch the 5 year old dump out almost the entire bag onto the table so she can eat them. Because she needs to. Because 10lbs of caramel and half a bag of marshmallows isn’t enough. Have the kids stop petting the squirrels so they can put aluminum foil on a baking sheet (since you forgot wax paper)-even if the squirrels don’t seem to mind getting it out of their fur. It rots their teeth. Have them feed them Apple Jacks instead. Once you think everything is ready, heat the caramel carefully so it doesn’t burn. No one likes burned caramel. Dip the apples. Be careful not to dip the squirrels.Roll the apples in all the goodies you have out.

Look for weirdly shaped chocolate chips. Then add them to the special caramel apple made just for Jeff. Add the weirdly shaped chocolate chip to Jeff's teeth. Make sure you add lots of marshmallows to the side of his head because "Jeff has big hair. He needs a LOT of marshmallows." Get the squirrels a drink. The Apple Jack's were a little dry, and they've worked SO hard. After you realize you didn't let the caramel set long enough before covering them in goodies, lick the aluminum foil clean.

Bon appetit, mi amigos!!!