A Day at the Pool

Usually when I take the kids to the pool it's not an emotionally scarring experience. But that's usually, and you can tell where this is going. We've spent most of the summer pleasantly enjoying the pools at our apartment complex, or going to the YMCA and enjoying the ones there. So far, the only scarring incident at the Y involved my eyes (which hurt after I had to bleach them), and an ethnic woman who thought her see-through shirt was a good choice to wear around children at the pool. I am not sure if she thought the kids were judging a wet t-shirt contest or what, but there was no way she was going to win with them things. Let's just say "Ew" with a capital "Ew." Anyway, usually the day at the pool is all fun and games. They play games, dive for random things on the floor of the pool and make you help them take their goggles on and off over a thousand times. On exceptionally fun days, Uncle Jeff throws the girls as far as he can into the deep end where they try desperately not to drown. When they finally make it back to the shallow end, he does it again! For some reason they love this game... The nice thing about the neighborhood pool is that the neighbors come and play and you get to meet new people. Some people like to come out and barbecue while they leave their four month old baby unattended in a pool floaty.Now this is where I preach modesty, modesty, modesty! ... and more Modesty! I believe that once you reap the ripe old age of Mommy, you should dress like one. I didn't say dress like Grandma-Mommy-Pioneer, but I am saying that at some point you really should consider setting a good, conservative example for your children. And for the rest of us, but mostly for heaven's sake please for the rest of us.

The great part is that she is blocking the view of her other friend, also wearing a child's bikini and weighing more than the four kids we brought to the pool combined. I think they were best friends. Best friends who smoke, eat and cuss loudly in the pool. And that was just on the surface...

And to top it off, it's not that those girls were the only other scarring event at the pool. These two were practicing their rescue breathing techniques. Or pretending to be vampires. Either way, they got them all wrong. Vampires and lifeguards look good when they do that. She's looking at me like, "What? It's totally not creepy to sit here and stare at my friend while she makes out with her boyfriend vampire! I'm trying to learn something new here!"

Needless to say, our fingers were pruney, our toes were pruney, and we needed to take the kids home so we could bleach their eyes. Let that be a lesson to us all, that we need to be better member missionaries. If these people knew about modesty and the law of chastity, we wouldn't have had such a scarring experience.

... Note to self: Send over missionaries...